We may not consciously choose our favorite flavor of fear. Often it just shows up. But you may find that a particular one shows up repeatedly for you.
Which one is it?
Fear shows up in many different disguises, all designed to hold us back in one way or another. Let’s explore some of these illusions:
The Procrastinator, also known as the perfectionist, wants everything to be perfect and ends up spending more time researching and preparing and never getting to action on their goals. The fear of not getting it right or perfect keeps them stuck in “research mode”. Anything can become a diversion from the task at hand with the procrastinator. Sometimes you just have to get started, even if you don’t feel you have all the answers yet. (See also the shadow of the Seeker archetype)*
The Rule Follower, similar to the perfectionist, is afraid of coloring outside the lines. They want to follow the rules so they aren’t judged by others, especially those in authority. There is a fear of trusting themselves and relying on others to make the “right decisions”. The rule followers need to become ok with making mistakes and allowing themselves to be human, to be different, and to sometimes make their own rules. (See also the shadow of the Slave archetype)*
The People Pleaser, similar to the rule follower, has a fear of being judged by others, but not for fear of retribution for doing it “wrong”, but for fear of disappointing other people. The people pleaser often has issues with setting boundaries and will allow others to bleed them dry (physically, emotionally, energetically) rather than take care of themselves. The people pleaser will put their own needs and goals aside to accommodate others. Creating boundaries and priorities is the solution for the people pleasers. (See also the shadow of the Victim archetype)*
The Outcast’s biggest fear is rejection, and will often reject others (or reject ideas) before getting rejected themselves. They can create a worst case scenario and discount an idea before even presenting it. Before rejecting a person or idea, be open to alternative outcomes and the benefits of a situation, even if it doesn’t go as planned. (See also the shadow of the Hermit archetype)*
The Self Doubter operates on the fear of not being good enough. They hesitate to put themselves in the limelight and will often downplay their own skills or value. Like the rule follower, they will sometimes judge others to mask their own insecurities. Getting comfortable accepting compliments and making an effort to step out of their comfort zone to conquer that self doubt are good tips for the self doubters. (See also the shadow of the Saboteur archetype)*
The Excuse Makers can justify anything and are great at manipulating perceptions. Shifting responsibility to others is a trademark of the excuse makers. Rather than taking responsibility for their own actions, they appear as the victim to other people’s actions and agendas. As valid as an excuse might be, if there is true desire to achieve a goal, solutions will be found to overcome them. (See also the shadow of the Trickster archetype)*
The Pessimist will find reasons to give up at the first sign of a roadblock. Any adversity is a “sign” that this isn’t a good idea and they should quit. Looking at these roadblocks as learning experiences, or “one more way not to do it” rather than a sign to quit is a more positive perspective to take to get beyond the pessimist mindset. (See also the shadow of the Martyr archetype)*
Regardless of which one of these shows up for you, all of them keep you from experiencing the fullness of life and love. Remember, the opposite of fear is love. This is the type of love that connects us all as one and connects us to our full experience of all we are and can be. Fear is a wall that blocks us from that connection and keeps us from excelling.
Which fear archetype shows up most for you and keeps you from achieving goals, taking big risks, or enjoying life to the fullest? Share in the comments… and also share how you have thwarted this fear in the past or what you plan on doing now to get past it.
Something else to consider if there are too many “reasons” for not moving forward on a goal, the goal may not be yours. Read that article here.
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I'd have to say I've experienced "all of the above" except the "excuse maker" and "the pessimist." 😅
I'm a bit of a procrastinator/people pleaser! 😆