Welcome adventurous souls to this week’s contemplation!
We’re going to dive right into this soul’s journey with one of the hardest lessons for us to experience, and that is FEAR.
Very simply, fear is the opposite of love.
Fear is what holds us back from being our true, exceptional selves. It keeps us from opening up our hearts to others. It keeps us from taking the big leaps into the unknown, the leaps that could mean the new career, new home, new relationship, new experience.
Last week, I decided to take a leap.
For 25+ years, writing has been something I’ve done “for me”. Blogs, articles, and two books, none of which are very well known except by maybe 100 or so people, mostly friends and family. Why didn’t I promote my blogs? Why didn’t I play the big game with publishing my books? Why am I not earning a living from my writing? “It’s just for me”, I reasoned.
Now, I call bullshit!
It was fear. Straight up. Fear of rejection. Fear of failure. Fear of being called out as a fraud. Fear of what might happen if I was successful! Yup, good old fear of success (I might have to keep up with writing, and quit my 9-5 job and the security that went with it, and then what if I suddenly lost the writing success, where would I be?)
Long story short, I’m facing that fear and taking the shot.
Now, I’m not quitting my day job entirely and jumping in with both feet. But, I’ve been hemming and hawing about cutting my hours to have more time to write. Sure, I can work 40 hours and still write. Hell, I’ve been doing that. But it’s additional stress I don’t need and really don’t have to tolerate. But some form of fear kept holding me back. I’ve now cut down to 4 days a week and can spend a full day, at home, relaxed, and writing! Eventually, I’ll cut down to 3 days, and then retire from that job entirely.
Back to the lesson on fear.
But let’s start with love. Being in a state of love is being open to being a part of the whole of the universe, and as part of that whole, we can experience everything that is out there. When we are in a state of love, we are open to all of the abundance and joy that is creation. We attract, manifest, and do all the things the spiritual gurus tell us we can do.
Now, this may sound like a bunch of spiritual self help mumbo jumbo, but the idea that everything in the universe is simply vibrating energy has already been proven, so let’s go with that, ok?
When we are in a state of love, we are attracting similar energy. When we are in a state of fear, we are disconnected from that love energy. In fear, we're focusing on not having what we really want. We focus on the what ifs and theoretical scenarios that don’t exist. We’ve made up random shit in order to hold ourselves back. We’ve created an illusion that distracts us from taking action.
The lesson is in what energy you allow that fear to have.
Questions:
What do you want?
Now, stop playing games, cut the BS, and share what you really want, without fear.
What stories are you making up to keep you from taking action on what you want?
What events from your past are you holding on to as excuses for your actions today?
Letting go of fear is a challenge. I get it. I’m not perfect. I still create BS fear scenarios that hold me back. Why do you think I share these lessons? Misery loves company, right? Just kidding, but seriously, it’s easier to face fears with the help and support of others. This journey, the Soul’s Journey, is an exercise in facing some of my own fears as well as sharing ideas with you.
Whenever you do something big or challenging, fear will always be present. The lesson is in what energy you allow that fear to have.
If you have excuses for not taking action, that’s fear. As legitimate as the excuses may seem, they are still excuses in response to a fear.
If the goal is truly yours, there are no excuses that can hold you back. (Trying to achieve goals that aren’t yours is another topic for another day). Any roadblocks that come up have a solution when you’re willing to face the fear behind the excuse and be open to potential solutions.
As I mentioned previously, fear keeps us from opening up our hearts to others, and to alternative ideas. When we willing to face the fears and are open to new ideas, we can find solutions to the excuses that keep our fears in place.
Go big or go home
Go big or go home isn't always the answer. If you have a dream of being an actor but are afraid of quitting your job, moving from your home, and jumping into the NY or LA lifestyle, then don’t if that doesn’t feel right to you. Your answer might be to start with a local theater group or check out local talent agencies. You might find that your “acting dream” is fulfilled by starting a YouTube channel or Podcast. Be open to alternative ideas and baby steps if that’s where you are.
The key is not staying stuck doing nothing and hiding behind fear.
Just take the shot. Start small if you need to. And stay consistent in your efforts.
There are too many hyped-up examples of overnight success in almost every area of life, every career, every relationship. These are the exception, but they get the most attention… so much attention that average people develop a severe fear of failure if they can’t gain instant success at everything they try, so they just stop trying.
When fear strikes and you realize that what’s holding you back is an unfounded fear, it’s time to look it straight in the eye and face it down. Challenge every excuse that supports that fear.
Challenge:
Write down (or share in the comments) a fear that is holding you back from doing something dear to your heart, something you have a strong desire to do, or be, or have.
Next write down all the answers or solutions to dispel that fear you can think of. Even if they seem like silly solutions, write them down anyway. Be open to solutions that may seem unconventional or come from sources you never thought of before.
Take the first step towards your goal and getting past your fear.
Living in the energy of love is a true test of resolve in not allowing the excuses of fear hold you back and keep you from being extraordinary.
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Facing a fear is always a win, even when you fail.
If you fail, you still gain in self respect for pushing beyond the boundary of your comfort zone.
Fear can be our best friend, for it reveals that we believe something that isn’t based on the Love that underlies all of Creation.
Great blog! this is something I struggle with regularly, but it is getting easier and easier to stay in love, thank you for the reminder